


Forget to Breathe

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, First Time, M/M, Vignette, challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-07
Updated: 2006-03-07
Packaged: 2019-02-02 12:05:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12726309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: How many times can one be breathless and still survive?





	Forget to Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Violence and anguish.  
  
Thanks to my Beta, Gateroller!  


* * *

FNF Challenge # 44 :

~ "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." ~

I've always liked that quote; it always seemed so true to me. Not many times in my life could I say that's happened to me and when it did it was usually in pain that my breath left my body.

The day I watched my parents die, I thought I would never get my breath back.

The day I finally ruined my career my breath was taken in fits and starts as the despair settled over me.

When I saw Sha're hit by a staff blast under Ra's pyramid I gasped out my breath at the pain in my chest.

It was not very far from there that I ran in from the bright sunshine with Jack just ahead of me to find my Sha're had been stolen by Apophis. My breath left me slowly that time, as if someone squeezed it from me and wrung me out. It was only my desperation that made me take yet one more breath.

I suppose there had been a few good times in my life that had stolen my breath until then but they had been so fleeting that I could hardly remember them. I suppose those few had been related to my success with my studies.

The first one I remember clearly was when I first saw the huge cover stone and then another when I finally went through the Stargate.

One more was when I first realised that Sha're was mine; that was a combination of shock and awe.

However, I could only think of one time when my breath was stolen in pain and in joy within minutes of each other.

* * *

It was during a mission to P3R-656. Nothing special it seemed. Sam and Teal'c went to play with the soil their way and I took Jack to play in the dirt my way. That was his description, not mine I might add.

According to the MALP and UAV there were no people, just an abandoned building the use of which wasn't clear. Hence my excitement at the possibilities.

We'd been there a few hours; I was happily scribbling down the inscriptions from the thick stone post around the long empty doorway and Jack was merrily patrolling, calling to me from time to time, telling me silly jokes or reminding me not to touch anything. I told him to stick to the jokes, they were more useful. He was laughing when his voice was cut off with a grunt. I turned quickly and looked in his direction only to find myself face to face with three large men pointing spears at me.

Up on the hill above I could see Jack, a spear pointing at his throat as another man took his weapon and pack from him. I quickly went into my usual spiel telling them that we were peaceful explorers and meant them no harm. As none of them had spoken yet I had no idea if they would understand. At least when one of them answered me I would know if I could communicate. I just prayed it was language I knew.

I was taken aback when one of them spoke to me in English.

"If you mean no harm why do you carry powerful weapons?"

"Only to protect ourselves in a strange environment," Jack answered from the hill above.

"You are protecting this one?" one of the men surrounding Jack asked, indicating me.

"Yes," Jack answered quickly. "He is a scholar; I am a soldier and his team leader."

"Ah, you are in command?"

"That's right."

"Jack," I said, trying to put a warning in just his name.

"It's all right, Daniel. I understand," he smiled. I was unsure if he really did understand what I meant. Then he continued, "It is only the truth, I am here to protect you." He turned to his captor. "He is an archaeologist; he studies the past and tries to understand other cultures. We truly mean no harm; if you do not wish us to remain we will go back through the Stargate."

"The what?"

"The large stone ring," I interposed. "You may know it as the Chappa'ai," I explained.

"Ah, you mean the threshold to the stars."

"Ah, yes I suppose you could call it that," I replied. A little poetic but quite accurate.

He regarded us for a moment before he nodded and suddenly both of my arms were grabbed and pulled behind my back and tied securely. I saw Jack receive the same treatment before they pushed him down the slight incline to where I was standing.

"There's no need for this," I said, attempting to lift my arms but only succeeding in feeling the strain on my upper arm muscles.

He didn't answer me; instead he turned and walked away. "Bring them," he said peremptorily and the spears made it clear we were to follow him.

I looked over at Jack and he shrugged. Where had they come from? Other than this building there had been no sign of occupation for quite a distance from the Gate and no sign of any energy emissions on the planet according to Sam. What could've gone wrong?

I got the answer after we had walked for about two miles when we finally reached the foothills and the leader of our captors slipped through a narrow slit in the cliff. They must live underground. I felt Jack's glance and turned to look at him, his expression saying what his words would not. How would they find us now?

We walked for what seemed hours and as I couldn't see my watch I had no real idea of how long it actually was, or how far we might have walked. My legs ached after walking so long on the uneven ground underfoot. It was surprising how much difference it made walking with my arms tied, it threw my balance off and put strain on my leg muscles as I tried to not to stumble on the rough rocky pathway.

Eventually we reached a huge cavern, so large I couldn't see the far side and with a roof so lofty it was lost high above, except for the central portion where there was what I assumed to be a natural formation; a tall rock chimney showing a circle of daylight far above.

When I took my eyes from the fantastic sight above I found another one no less fantastic on the floor of the cavern. A city built of stone rising towards the cavern walls at the side where it continued, cut into the rock. There were small square buildings, probably homes or stores, I thought and scattered among them the occasional large edifice which I assumed must be some kind of communal buildings.

A small prick from a spear indicated that I should turn left along the edge of the city and I saw we were heading towards the rock-cut dwellings and whatever their purpose might be.

I soon discovered that some of them were cells and I was grateful that they shoved us in together, after they had untied our hands. A heavy wooden door was swung shut and there was the sound of a heavy bar, probably also wooden, slamming down to keep us secure inside.

Jack's usual sarcasm came to the fore. "Well that was interesting. What's the next trick I wonder?"

"I wish I knew. I also wish I knew why they've imprisoned us in the first place."

"They see us as a threat," he answered, quietly.

I moved closer to him, away from the door and spoke quietly. "What about Sam and Teal'c, do you think they're prisoners too?"

"I don't know. I hope not. They were about five clicks away, maybe they never found them. I certainly never heard a _thing_ until I felt the spear point in my neck," he added ruefully.

"If they do get captured they'll probably bring them to these cells and we'll see them," I said, not sure why I felt relief at the idea they might be in the next cell. The relief should come from them _not_ being in the next cell. Security in numbers I supposed. Jack was good but Jack, Teal'c and Sam were better.

Against the back wall lay a couple of pallets where we could sleep. I looked around for the facilities and discovered that what I had thought was yet more uneven flooring was in fact a loose slab over a hole in the floor at the far corner from the sleeping pallets. It was very deep and would perhaps keep the worst of the smell away.

Jack looked over my shoulder and commented, "I've seen worse. Let's get some rest; we don't know what else they've got planned."

I nodded; reassured that at least Jack was with me. That made everything better. Jack made my life better just by being a part of it and I didn't just mean because he was my best friend, as important as that was too. No, he didn't know just how important he was in my life, he had no idea just how much he meant to me. He didn't know that I loved him. That's misleading; he did know that I loved him, I think, as a friend. He didn't know I had fallen _in_ love with him. That was my secret, kept hidden away in my heart where it was safe. I wanted to tell him but I knew I couldn't. He wouldn't understand.

I lay down on one of the pallets, surprised that it was more comfortable than I would have expected for one that looked so thin. I was also surprised that it wasn't cold so far below ground in a cavern. The other pallet was about a metre away and I turned on my side so I could see Jack. He lay down, plumped up part of the pallet into the semblance of a pillow, gave me a grin and closed his eyes. I watched him for a while before my exhaustion took over and I drifted into sleep.

I awoke to the grating sound of the bar being removed and saw that Jack was already climbing to his feet.

"Daniel," he said softly and I rose to my feet and moved to his side.

The leader from yesterday's party entered the cell, in the company of two men pointing an odd metal cylinder, about a metre in length, at us. I could see their fingers on a small black button about half-way along the cylinder. I had the distinct impression it was a weapon of much more lethal application than the spears they had been carrying last time. There was also another man, a stranger, with them.

"Please remain still," the leader said. "This is Haygar," he said indicating the stranger, "our Arbiter. He is here to inform you of our decision as to your penalty."

"Penalty!" Jack challenged.

"For what are we being penalised?" I asked.

The Arbiter stepped forward. "You have no right to be on our world. You have invaded with prejudice and we must send a message back to your people," he declared.

"Invaded!" Jack made to move forward, my hand on his arm halted him. He looked at me. I turned to face the Arbiter.

"We are not invaders, we are peaceful explorers. We had no idea this world was inhabited. We will leave and never return," I told him, trying to control my feeling of unease.

He continued as if neither of us had spoken. "It has been decreed that one of you will be executed and the other will return to stand as witness to our determination to protect our world at all costs. You may choose which of you will act as sacrifice and which as witness."

He took two steps back and stood beside the guards, waiting. Waiting for an answer.

My heart was pounding so hard I could feel the blood rushing through my veins and hear it thundering in my ears. I was terrified; I knew what he would say. I turned to try and stop him but even that moment had been too long.

Jack stepped forward and quickly before he could speak, I said. "No, it's all or nothing. You kill both or you let both go free."

"Daniel!"

"We do not wish to execute both of you," the Arbiter replied. "We prefer the more potent warning of a surviving witness. However, if you refuse to choose it is possible we could execute you both and leave your bodies at the Threshold, a silent warning."

"Or, we could choose the sacrifice," the leader said harshly.

"That won't be necessary," Jack said as he stepped forward.

"Jack no!" I cried.

He turned back to me and he smiled, God he smiled! "Its okay, Daniel, it's worth it to me."

"No, Jack, please," I gasped, "Don't do this."

"You know it's my duty to protect you, this is just another way of doing that," his voice was husky. I'd never heard it like that before.

"It's not your duty to die for me!"

"Duty? Maybe. Choice? Oh yes. I want you to live, Danny," he whispered.

He reached out a hand but dropped it before he touched me. He didn't take his eyes from my face and I saw it. Dear God, how had I ever missed it? It was there, plain as day, shining from his eyes. He cared for me, he _loved_ me. Now, I discovered this _now_.

"NO!" I yelled, trying to grab his arm but the guards pushed me back and then pulled him forward. There were more guards waiting outside the cell door and they took hold of Jack and walked him away.

The guards in the cell turned to me and the Arbiter said, "You will follow." I hurried out, the guards moving swiftly to keep up with me.

We did not have far to walk. They took us to a large circular area in the centre of the city and we were walked through a large chattering crowd towards a raised dais in the middle. Jack was directed to climb the few steps and I was forced to kneel on the ground a few feet in front of the dais. The leader stood to one side of me with the two guards just behind me. The Arbiter had mounted the steps with Jack.

I felt numb as I knelt there staring up at Jack. He wasn't looking at me, just staring straight ahead. I suddenly realised I had no idea how they were going to execute him but I knew, to my shame, that I wouldn't be able to watch. I felt I should be with him to the very end and that I was abandoning him but how could I watch the man I loved with all my heart and soul die in front of me? I had accepted long ago that either of us could fall in the long battle against the Goa'uld but not like this, I couldn't accept his dying like this.

"Jack!" I suddenly yelled. "Jack, please don't do this, not for me. We've spent years doing this together; it shouldn't be any different now. Together, all the way!"

"Not this time, Danny, you've died too many times," he called back and even as he spoke the guards pulled him back and shoved him down on his knees. From my kneeling position I could no longer see him. "Danny, remember me! Live for me, Danny. Danny!"

Tears filling my eyes, I tried to rise but the leader pushed me to my knees.

The Arbiter moved forward and raised his hand and the crowd quieted. I dropped my chin to my chest and squeezed my eyes shut, cursing that I couldn't see and ashamed that I was afraid to look.

Suddenly the crowd erupted with shouts and cheers and with a terrible pain, sharp as a knife through my heart, my breath whooshed from my lungs and I collapsed onto my elbows cradling my head in my hands. All I wanted was for the pain to end, never to draw another breath.

Then a hand touched my shoulder and a gentle voice said, "Danny." I gasped in shock and filled my lungs so suddenly that I coughed and choked. I felt his hands pulling at my shoulders trying to lift me and I looked up with tear filled eyes to see his face looking at me, his eyes soft and warm.

The next few hours would probably always remain hazy for me. I was so relieved that Jack was alive that everything else paled into insignificance for me. Apparently this was the Renidwu's version of a test of character; a way to determine the worth of contact with another species. They were nowhere near as primitive as first appearances would lead one to believe. They had quite an interesting technology that had Sam quite excited when she and Teal'c were finally brought to the underground city. Apparently, the Renidwu were quite aware of their presence but had determined that Jack was the leader of the group and they had been watching us for a time to determine the friendship between us. Hence we were the subject of their test. Jack's willingness to sacrifice for me was sufficient to pass the test but apparently my reaction and offer had only reinforced their belief.

A big feast was held and the Arbiter said that negotiations could begin. Jack asked if the SGC could send a specialist team of negotiators. The leader readily agreed stating he understood how difficult it had been for us and we were welcome to return at any time.

* * *

The feast took place at lunchtime on 656 and Hammond agreed to debrief after the mandatory visit to the infirmary. Doc Fraiser said we were fine, though obviously suffering from delayed stress. She suggested forty-eight hours downtime.

Jack persuaded the General that a preliminary debrief would suffice with a full written report from each of us due in two days.

We finally arrived at Jack's place for a late dinner after which we had talked for hours and took each other's breath, one kiss after another.

Oh God, I think I may forget to breathe at all!

FIN


End file.
